Skip to main content

What nobody tells you about having a baby | Fertility

I've discussed some of these issues in my blog post 'When are you having a baby?' as well as the post 'PCOS Nobody wants to talk about it' so you may want to read those posts as well if you are going through these issues yourself.

I want this post to give you a heads up if you're going to get married soon, to let you know that getting pregnant in the first place isn't plain sailing for a lot of women and if you find yourself in that situation then it's ok and it will be ok inshaAllah. For women trying to conceive, a little hope by letting you know that  there are success stories for people who have gone through fertility issues and that you are definitely not alone.

I'm currently reading Michelle Obama's biography titled 'Becoming', half way through reading about such a driven and ambitious woman I read the part about her and her husband trying for a baby.

"Fertility is not something you conquer. Rather maddeningly, theres no straight line between effort and reward..." she writes, "...Seeing women and their children walking happily along a street, I'd feel a pang of longing followed by a bruising wallop of inadequacy."

The ex-first lady who as a woman I could totally relate to, her feelings of inadequacy and her struggles were so close to home. She went on to have a miscarriage and then trying Clomid before going through IVF for both her pregnancies. It was just such a wow moment for me because there are so many women who go through these things but when you're in it yourself, you feel like you are the only one, that there is something wrong with you because everyone else around you is getting pregnant accidentally or very easily it seems.

Islamically we shouldn't discuss our intimate spousal relations with anyone and I wholeheartedly agree with that, but what that has meant is that fertility and getting pregnant has almost become a subject that isn't discussed before marriage at all, giving people a false sense of certainty when they go into marriage. I always thought people got married and then went on to have a baby when they wanted to, I mean in my extended family there are at least 3+ children in each family so to me it was clearly not an issue.

I found that when I had my own issues there wasn't anyone for me to talk to, my husband and I literally went through the whole fertility journey on our own, partly because it was embarrassing almost shameful to talk about but also because I hadn't known anyone else to have gone through it.

Alhamdulillah we had our precious miracle baby girl after one round of Clomid. After I had gone through it I discussed it somewhat with close cousins and friends and after writing my posts on it I came to know that what I went through was not uncommon. Alhamdulillah speaking about it has meant that I was able to help other people who didn't know what routes were available to them and who to talk to.

If you are going through something like this please know that you are not inadequate, there is nothing 'wrong' with you and that you are no less of a woman because you are struggling to have a baby.

If you like reading my posts you may want to follow me on social media where I update more regularly.

Instagram

Facebook

Popular posts from this blog

I Took My Driving Test!

Salaam all, I recently took my practical driving test and I thought I would share my thoughts and feelings of that day with you inshaAllah. On Wednesday the 18th I had my driving test. I had practiced all  I could and now the rest was down to Allah swt. I tried to keep myself calm by telling myself that whatever happens it is Allah's will and if I don't pass then maybe this time I wasn't supposed to. As I stood for Taraweeh that night my heart was pounding as I asked Allah to keep me safe on the road and also for me to pass. After praying I felt a lot calmer and soon enough fell asleep. Woke up for Suhoor, prayed Fajr and tried to go back to sleep. All I could think about was how much I wanted to pass, not because I really want to drive or anything, but just because taking lessons was taking up a lot of my time and money that I could spend on other things. As well as taking up my parents time and my uncle's. I got a couple of hours of sleep and woke up bright and

10 tips for your online hijab company

Assalaamu alaikum all! I have been having idea's about this post for a while but just didn't how to get my thoughts together so I'm not sure if this will be any good but here it goes anyway! So I don't run an online business of my own, I don't have a marketing degree nor am I an expert in running businesses but I've done my fair share of online shopping and have done reviews for online companies so I will give some tips from a consumer point of view inshaAllah, but please remember these are merely my views and not guaranteed to work Tip 1: Be Unique Do your research and check out other companies out there. At the moment the number of 'online hijab companies' have been growing and there are sooo many companies selling the exact same scarves & accessories claiming to be unique. If you want to be successful think up something different or take a unique angle on the hijab business idea. Brainstorm, pilot your ideas, find out what really

Hijab Style's To Suit Your Face Shape

So you're trying to follow a hijab tutorial but your hijab just doesn't look like the person doing the tutorial, you get frustrated because you can't get it right. Well to be honest I don't think it's so much you getting it wrong, it may just be that the hijab style being demonstrated looks better on the person doing the tutorial due to the shape of that person's face. Just like when you need to get a haircut, when styling your hijab, you have to consider the shape of your face. I've had many people tell me that hijab doesn't 'suit' them because their face is too round, or their cheeks are too chubby, which is the reason why they don't wear hijab, in my opinion hijab suits everyone, you just have to figure out how to wear it to suit you. Contrary to what many think, hijab wasn't prescribed to make you look 'ugly' it is to make you look modest. In this post I have tried to look at some face shapes and find some hijab style i