Skip to main content

Why I quit my job..

From the moment your baby is born the pressures on new mums are immense. You get judged for everything, whether you breastfeed or formula feed, make fresh food or use packet/jar baby food, whether you give a dummy or not, you carry them too much, you're not losing weight quickly enough etc etc etc. The guilt mums have themselves is enough to drive someone crazy but add the pressures and guilt everyone else put on you it goes through the roof and you spend  your days stressing if you're doing it right.

But there is no right or wrong way to be a mum, so long as your baby is healthy and happy you're doing just fine. It took me almost a year to get used to that idea so that I can confidently make decisions for my life and for my baby so that I can be content.

As my baby got to 7 months old I had to start thinking about work, if I was going to return to work, if I would work part time, who would look after my baby, how I would be able to balance work and home. Before I went on maternity leave I thought I had it all figured out, I had a great job in molecular imaging, working for a prestigious company on Harley Street. I would have my baby, take the full years maternity and then return to work part time, whilst my mother in law looked after my daughter.

Then my daughter was born 7 weeks early and everything changed.

For months I weighed up the pro's and con's of going back to work; I had studied so hard to get into the field, I worked my way up, I love my job and love meeting new people everyday, I love the fact that I'm helping people, would I get bored being at home all the time? Do I need a break from my daughter once in a while?

However, how could I leave my daughter at home in the morning and just go? She would wake up and not find me or her dad. She would only be little once and I'll never get that time back, I feel like it's my responsibility to give her a good upbringing, no one could bring her up the way I want her to be brought up.

I understand that for a lot of mum's they don't have a choice and have to return to work for financial reasons or just because they want to be a working mum. I thought long and hard, prayed that whatever decision I took it would be the best one for me and my family.

The more I thought about it the more I was inclined to resigning from my job and becoming a 'stay at home mum'. I came to the conclusion that if I did go back to work I would not be able to give 100% to my daughter or 100% to my job, in a job where mistakes have grave consequences I couldn't afford to not be on completely on the ball and I couldn't do that if my daughter didn't sleep all night or was sick. As a preemie baby in this 1st year of her life she gets sick a lot, she picks up a lot of viruses and needs to be on an inhaler when her breathing gets wheezy, she has so many appointments from follow up's at the hospital, to the GP when she's caught a bug to make sure her lungs are clear, to physio to follow up on meeting her developmental milestones, all of this means I'd be having to take time off work when she's not well as well as for all her appointments.

My biggest reason for finally deciding to quit my job was the fact that my job will always be there and if in another year or so I would just need to apply, I could always join agency somewhere to keep my skills up but work on my own terms. However, my daughter will only be this age once and I didn't want to miss a moment of it.

People still look shocked when they ask about my plans with work and I tell them I resigned. They tell me that I'm crazy for working so hard to get to where I am and wonder why I'm 'throwing' it all away, they tell me I'll be crazy bored at home and I'm making a mistake by leaving my job.

I may change my mind in the future but for now Alhamdulillah I'm happy that I'm in a position where I can choose to work or not work and that we have a good support network whatever I choose to do.

If you go to work and leave your child you're mum shamed, if you stay at home and don't work outside you're mum shamed, so there really is no winning if you're trying to do something that everyone else tells you is right.

It wasn't easy handing my resignation in, I even felt guilty for my manager and old colleagues because I felt like I was leaving them in the lurch but I had to do what was right for me.
Now that I've done it, I'm happy. When I think about it since age 3 I've been in education, I went straight from university into my job and haven't stopped. I finally have time to focus on other things in my life, it even gives me time to focus on my blog, painting canvases (which I miss doing so much!) and set up my hijab styling business (will tell you all about that in another post inshaAllah), I can really focus on giving my daughter a good start to life, take her to stay and play and to the library, enjoy Ramadan and really make time for myself.

Popular posts from this blog

I Took My Driving Test!

Salaam all, I recently took my practical driving test and I thought I would share my thoughts and feelings of that day with you inshaAllah. On Wednesday the 18th I had my driving test. I had practiced all  I could and now the rest was down to Allah swt. I tried to keep myself calm by telling myself that whatever happens it is Allah's will and if I don't pass then maybe this time I wasn't supposed to. As I stood for Taraweeh that night my heart was pounding as I asked Allah to keep me safe on the road and also for me to pass. After praying I felt a lot calmer and soon enough fell asleep. Woke up for Suhoor, prayed Fajr and tried to go back to sleep. All I could think about was how much I wanted to pass, not because I really want to drive or anything, but just because taking lessons was taking up a lot of my time and money that I could spend on other things. As well as taking up my parents time and my uncle's. I got a couple of hours of sleep and woke up bright and

Beauty Review | FW Beauty Skincare

I finally got around to writing up this much requested post on the products I bought from FWBeauty, the reason I haven't written something sooner is because I believe it's important to be using a skincare product for a while before reviewing it, as most skincare products don't give significant results after just one or two uses. I've been following the founders of FW Beauty Fatiha and Yasmine's journey online for a while now and I love seeing how successful they are becoming. They talk about their products with so much passion and confidence that I had to meet them in person and try out their skincare products. If you've been following me on Instagram you'll know that I attended the Muslim Lifestyle Show a few weeks ago and picked up the FW Beauty skincare products that I've been dying to try ever since I saw the glowing reviews. They had everything at a reduced price and I picked up the clear complexion bar, the gold elixir brightening facial

Review | Unique Hijab's

Assalaamu alaikum! Sorry for going AWOL for a while there, my netbook was down so I couldn't write blog posts and post pictures )= Alhamdulillah it's working now, a BIG JazkaAllah khair to the computer fixer upper. Anyway today I have a review for an amazing hijab company in the states! =D I received 3 scarves from them yesterday, a thin scarf, a crinkle scarf and a diamante jersey scarf, they're all super cool but first I'd like to tell you a little more about the company itself. Unique Hijabs actually started on ebay and then launched it's own website in 2009 their website is: www.uniquehijabs.com They sell a huge variety of hijabs and accessories such as under scarves, sleeves and brooches. One of the things I liked about this company is something that they've written on their facebook page, which I can actually relate to as I'm sure you can too: Food for thought and Unique Hijab Facts, to help you make your next purchasing decision wisely.