Abaya/Dress- Tailor made
Ring- Primark (my cousins)
Hijab- Hijab Fashion Shop
Hijab pin- Hijab Treasures
Shoes- H&M
Clutch Bag- Gift from Monsoon
Nail Polish- Lo'real Paris (colour: Rose)
Wednesday, 26 December 2012
OOTD | Bank Holiday family parties
Another quick outfit of the day (well, evening rather, but I did wear it all day)...Enjoy!
Sunday, 23 December 2012
OOTD | It's cold outside...!
Winter is one of my favourite times of the year, it's a dream come true for many hijabi's because people wear more clothes not less and we get to layer up without looking out of place or feeling hot. Today I have a double dose outfit of the day because I haven't done one in ages...this is me and my sister after being out shopping today.
Me.. =)
Coat: Topshop
Hijab: HijabFashionShop.com
Gloves: Not sure, probably from some market stall (they're really old)
Ring: Camden Town
Snood: Primark
Brooch: Monsoon
Abaya: Whitechapel Market
My sister...(=
Coat: ASOS Market (you might recognise it from before...its mine lol)
Ankle Boots: Shoe Zone
Snood: Primark
Bag: Primark
Abaya: Tailor made
Hijab: Woodgreen
Whats your favourite thing about Winter?
Spiritual | My Mother
Assalaam alaykum!
Long time again, I know! I have a few different posts coming up to make up for the lack of posting recently inshaAllah. Today I'm writing a post about the mother-daughter relationship so keep reading and leave some feedback (=
During secondary school I wasn't very practising and felt as though my mum was tring to keep me on a really tight leash. Because I didn't understand why she was telling me not to do things and because other people's parents were really lenient with them I felt it was unfair when she didn't let me do things my friends did. I only used to speak to my parents about school and work related issues and felt I couldn't talk to them about my feelings or other areas of my life such as friends or issues I was struggling with.
Coming from a Bengali background and growing up in a western culture I felt frustrated because of conflicting ways of behaving and dealing with your parents. Bengali parents don't often talk to their children about important things and find it embarrassing to talk about issues that effect every teenager, social peer pressure, the opposite gender, identity issues etc. In Bengali culture your best is never usually good enough, well that's how I felt when I was growing up. I remember coming home with straight A's in my GCSE's and one A* and the first thing my mum said was 'how comes you only got 1 A*?' When I used to do well in school it was always 'you should do better.' There were times I used to do everything to impress them like cleaning the whole house without being asked and it seemed as though they never even noticed. But when I used to do something wrong they'd come down on me like a tonne of bricks.
I remember having a heart to heart with my aunt about this once and she told me that parents think that if they praise you, you'll think you're doing well and then stop trying to do better so they don't praise you, instead, they think telling you, you should have done better will make you want to improve. Even then I still felt I couldn't speak to either of my parents. Because of this cultural and generation barrier our relationship wasn't open and I struggled.
Alhamdulillah I don't know what happened or when it happened but now our relationship has really improved. We now spend time together just talking about issues related to life, family, the future, marriage and all the rest of it. Sometimes I get home, get changed and lie in bed next to her just having a good old chat. I feel like my mum finds it easier to talk to me, maybe it's because I have grown up a lot and understand things much better.
Now that they're on the hunt for me to get married I value my mum more than anything. I think about my future and I'm just amazed at how my mum got through everything. I understand why my mum did things in my past that I didn't agree with back then, looking at those friends with lenient parents now and seeing what they've done with their lives makes me feel grateful that my mum was strict with me. They're are much more lenient now, but that's only because they know they've done everything they can to instill good morals in us and teach us right from wrong. I know my mum is happy with me and is proud of me even though she doesn't tell me, she values my Independence and I know she just wants what's best for me. No matter how many mistakes I made in my past, no matter how much I hurt her with my words and actions she still forgives me and loves me unconditionally. May Allah forgive me.
Now I can't imagine life without her, the first person I go to for advice is my mum and I appreciate every moment I have with her.
Recently I was speaking to a girl at work about her mum and she told me that she hated her mum because her mum keeps asking where she is when she goes out and wants her to stay home with her on weekends, this girl works relentlessly because it means she's out of the house and away from her mum. Now that I have learnt about Islam and am trying to be more practising I understand the importance of parents, I mean after the command to worship Allah without partners we are told to be good to our parents. Now that I see the bigger picture, when people speak badly about their parents especially their mums it breaks my heart.
If you don't have the best of relationships with your mum because you think she's too harsh with you or she doesn't show that she loves you then I would just like to say please try to think back and remember all the things she has done for you when you were a child, she held you for 9 months and brought you into this world, for that none of us can repay our mothers, no matter what we do it will never be enough to payback for that.
I know sometimes it's hard to deal with them but we will never know what it's like for our parents until we become mothers ourselves. There is always a good reason and much wisdom behind Allah's commands and for the command 'be good to your parents' to be waaay up there, then there is more than good enough reason behind it.
Here is what some sisters had to say about their relationship with their mothers and advice for sisters who maybe don't have the best relationship with their mum:
Sr Saima:
"The first thing to do is improve your relationship with your creator and make lots of dua as its all in his hands to soften our hearts. Practically I would say to get rid of your pride and arrogance, try share your feeling and don't get embarrassed to give a hug or say I love you mum. If your not at that stage do things for her, cook buy presents, say thank you when she does things for you. Slowly inshallah both your hearts can soften with the kindness lol a bit cheesy but it works! Alhamdillah"
Sr Rhonda:
"I believe its difficult to truly appreciate your mother, until you become one yourself"
Sr Yasmine
"If she alive....I say 1 thing....mom I'm nothing without you....you're my whole world....still miss my mom, in every turn of life...may ALLAH GIVE HER BEST PLACE IN JANNAH..&..GIVE HER BEST REWARD AMEEN....='("
Sr Syeda:
" i have soo much that i want to say to my mum but i am one of those people who didn't get enough time. May Allah Pak bless my mom in heaven i miss her and talk to her as she is always in my thoughts and my heart... and a special request to those lucky people who still have angels called moms in their lives... value them! u will know their worth once they leave u.. ask me what i would give to have my mother back."
Sr Mahumm:
"i agree with sister yasmin...but there is a little bit change....i was not attached with mu mum before i got marry....i feel her too much when i was not with her....but now when she is not with us i feel her too much....my life is colourless with out her....i wish once she hug me.............i wish.....i miss her every moment.....i m nothing without her.....may GOD BLESS HER WITH HIS BEST....AMEEN"
Sr Sidra:
"I can relate so strongly with this post. I think the key to having a good relationship with your parents is having a tremendous amount of Sabr and making an even more tremendous amount of Dua, especially if they lack Islamic education and aren't very practising and in cases where parents become extremely difficult, Keep reminding yourself how they took care of you when you were nothing, be patient, make lots of Dua and co operate with them as long as you're not crossing the bounds of Islam. I know this is easier said than done.
Having said that, apart from some of the things I've mentioned above, what are some other practical steps one can take to deal with difficult parents?? "
Sr Maryam:
"My mother was very sickly most of her life. When I got back home a few months ago, there was an opportunity for me to be with her alone and wheat I learnt was there was SO MUCH CHANCE for improvement with her that no one ever tried. She is doing so well now and she is getting to be a little independent. I am teaching her how to use a computer. I am teaching her how to cook. I was able to take her with me on 2 flights and she was no bother at all. So most of my life, raised by aunties this is like having a NEW MOM for the first time and I feel SO BLESSED that Allah (SWT) has given me the firasaa how to deal with her illness. Keep us in your duaas. Salaam alaykum."
So what are some practical steps you can take to improve your relationship with your mother?
1- Have Sabr
Sometimes she may be in a bad mood and you might feel she's taking it out on you but say alhamdulillah that she is still here and that you have the opportunity to gain reward for being patient with her. If she is elderly or ill, be patient with her as she was with you when you were a child. Remember all those tantrums, the nights you kept her awake when you were ill, the times she cleaned you and comforted you and have sabr.
2- Bite your tongue
Not literally. Learn to keep your mouth shut when you feel yourself becoming frustrated or angry with your mum, even though she wont always show it your words and actions hurt her more than you think and when you think back on those moments where you did lose your temper with her you'll be filled with guilt and regret.
3- Try to see things from her point of view
Our mums weren't brought up in the same society or generation that we were, which is why she might not understand you, try to see why she is upset with you or why she wants you to do or not do something. One day you will understand why she was the way she was with you.
4- Speak to her
Sometimes its cringe worthy and sometimes you feel she wont understand but put your pride aside and actually tell her about your life, as we grow up our mums feel like they're losing us, they want to protect us but they know we just want to go our own way. Show her that she is still important to you by telling her about your life and asking her for advice when you're in trouble. Try to be more open with her so she feels she can trust you more.
5- Spend quality time with her
Quality time is not just being in the same house as her, but actually speaking to her while watching TV or even helping her cook, try to take her out away from the house so you get time to talk to each other and let her find out more about you, the way you think and the way you are.
6- Make du'a for her
Whether your relationship with your mum is good or not keep her in your du'as because the mother-child relationship is one of the most pure and sincere, your dua will go a long way inshaAllah.
And a little bit of advice for the mothers out there...Don't feel embarrassed to tell your children you love them and are proud of them. Although you might not have had the same relationship with your parents growing up make sure you don't make the same mistakes with your children, speak to them, be open with them and build that trust between you and your children so they find it easy to come to you when they need you rather than go elsewhere.
Duas for parents:
Remember my mum in your duas too, May Allah bless and protect all of our parents and may He grant them jannat-ul-firdous!
I'll leave you with something I read online:
Long time again, I know! I have a few different posts coming up to make up for the lack of posting recently inshaAllah. Today I'm writing a post about the mother-daughter relationship so keep reading and leave some feedback (=
Abu Huraira reported that a person came to Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) and said: Who among the people is most deserving of a fine treatment from my hand? He said: Your mother. He again said: Then who (is the next one)? He said: Again it is your mother (who deserves the best treatment from you). He said: Then who (is the next one)? He (the Holy Prophet) said: Again, it is your mother. He (again) said: Then who? Thereupon he said: Then it is your father."- 'The Book of Virtue, Good Manners and Joining of the Ties of Relationship (Kitab Al-Birr was-Salat-I-wal-Adab)' of Sahih MuslimGrowing up my relationship with my mother has had its ups and downs, like many people she was my world as a child, but as a teenager our relationship was strained as I found it more and more difficult to relate to her and for her to relate to me.
During secondary school I wasn't very practising and felt as though my mum was tring to keep me on a really tight leash. Because I didn't understand why she was telling me not to do things and because other people's parents were really lenient with them I felt it was unfair when she didn't let me do things my friends did. I only used to speak to my parents about school and work related issues and felt I couldn't talk to them about my feelings or other areas of my life such as friends or issues I was struggling with.
Coming from a Bengali background and growing up in a western culture I felt frustrated because of conflicting ways of behaving and dealing with your parents. Bengali parents don't often talk to their children about important things and find it embarrassing to talk about issues that effect every teenager, social peer pressure, the opposite gender, identity issues etc. In Bengali culture your best is never usually good enough, well that's how I felt when I was growing up. I remember coming home with straight A's in my GCSE's and one A* and the first thing my mum said was 'how comes you only got 1 A*?' When I used to do well in school it was always 'you should do better.' There were times I used to do everything to impress them like cleaning the whole house without being asked and it seemed as though they never even noticed. But when I used to do something wrong they'd come down on me like a tonne of bricks.
I remember having a heart to heart with my aunt about this once and she told me that parents think that if they praise you, you'll think you're doing well and then stop trying to do better so they don't praise you, instead, they think telling you, you should have done better will make you want to improve. Even then I still felt I couldn't speak to either of my parents. Because of this cultural and generation barrier our relationship wasn't open and I struggled.
Alhamdulillah I don't know what happened or when it happened but now our relationship has really improved. We now spend time together just talking about issues related to life, family, the future, marriage and all the rest of it. Sometimes I get home, get changed and lie in bed next to her just having a good old chat. I feel like my mum finds it easier to talk to me, maybe it's because I have grown up a lot and understand things much better.
Now that they're on the hunt for me to get married I value my mum more than anything. I think about my future and I'm just amazed at how my mum got through everything. I understand why my mum did things in my past that I didn't agree with back then, looking at those friends with lenient parents now and seeing what they've done with their lives makes me feel grateful that my mum was strict with me. They're are much more lenient now, but that's only because they know they've done everything they can to instill good morals in us and teach us right from wrong. I know my mum is happy with me and is proud of me even though she doesn't tell me, she values my Independence and I know she just wants what's best for me. No matter how many mistakes I made in my past, no matter how much I hurt her with my words and actions she still forgives me and loves me unconditionally. May Allah forgive me.
Now I can't imagine life without her, the first person I go to for advice is my mum and I appreciate every moment I have with her.
Recently I was speaking to a girl at work about her mum and she told me that she hated her mum because her mum keeps asking where she is when she goes out and wants her to stay home with her on weekends, this girl works relentlessly because it means she's out of the house and away from her mum. Now that I have learnt about Islam and am trying to be more practising I understand the importance of parents, I mean after the command to worship Allah without partners we are told to be good to our parents. Now that I see the bigger picture, when people speak badly about their parents especially their mums it breaks my heart.
If you don't have the best of relationships with your mum because you think she's too harsh with you or she doesn't show that she loves you then I would just like to say please try to think back and remember all the things she has done for you when you were a child, she held you for 9 months and brought you into this world, for that none of us can repay our mothers, no matter what we do it will never be enough to payback for that.
I know sometimes it's hard to deal with them but we will never know what it's like for our parents until we become mothers ourselves. There is always a good reason and much wisdom behind Allah's commands and for the command 'be good to your parents' to be waaay up there, then there is more than good enough reason behind it.
Surah Luqman, 13 :14وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَى وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُWa was-say-nal’ insaana biwaaliday: hamalat-hu ’um-muhuu wahnan ‘alaa wahninw-wa fisaaluhuu fii ‘aamayni ’anish-kur lii wa li-waalidayk: ’ilay-yal-Masiir.14. And (God says:) “We have enjoined upon man goodness towards his parents: his mother bore him by bearing strain upon strain, and his utter dependence on her lasted two years: (hence, O man,) be grateful towards Me and towards thy parents, (and remember that) with Me is all journey’s end.
Here is what some sisters had to say about their relationship with their mothers and advice for sisters who maybe don't have the best relationship with their mum:
Sr Saima:
"The first thing to do is improve your relationship with your creator and make lots of dua as its all in his hands to soften our hearts. Practically I would say to get rid of your pride and arrogance, try share your feeling and don't get embarrassed to give a hug or say I love you mum. If your not at that stage do things for her, cook buy presents, say thank you when she does things for you. Slowly inshallah both your hearts can soften with the kindness lol a bit cheesy but it works! Alhamdillah"
Sr Rhonda:
"I believe its difficult to truly appreciate your mother, until you become one yourself"
Sr Yasmine
"If she alive....I say 1 thing....mom I'm nothing without you....you're my whole world....still miss my mom, in every turn of life...may ALLAH GIVE HER BEST PLACE IN JANNAH..&..GIVE HER BEST REWARD AMEEN....='("
Sr Syeda:
" i have soo much that i want to say to my mum but i am one of those people who didn't get enough time. May Allah Pak bless my mom in heaven i miss her and talk to her as she is always in my thoughts and my heart... and a special request to those lucky people who still have angels called moms in their lives... value them! u will know their worth once they leave u.. ask me what i would give to have my mother back."
Sr Mahumm:
"i agree with sister yasmin...but there is a little bit change....i was not attached with mu mum before i got marry....i feel her too much when i was not with her....but now when she is not with us i feel her too much....my life is colourless with out her....i wish once she hug me.............i wish.....i miss her every moment.....i m nothing without her.....may GOD BLESS HER WITH HIS BEST....AMEEN"
Sr Sidra:
"I can relate so strongly with this post. I think the key to having a good relationship with your parents is having a tremendous amount of Sabr and making an even more tremendous amount of Dua, especially if they lack Islamic education and aren't very practising and in cases where parents become extremely difficult, Keep reminding yourself how they took care of you when you were nothing, be patient, make lots of Dua and co operate with them as long as you're not crossing the bounds of Islam. I know this is easier said than done.
Having said that, apart from some of the things I've mentioned above, what are some other practical steps one can take to deal with difficult parents?? "
Sr Maryam:
"My mother was very sickly most of her life. When I got back home a few months ago, there was an opportunity for me to be with her alone and wheat I learnt was there was SO MUCH CHANCE for improvement with her that no one ever tried. She is doing so well now and she is getting to be a little independent. I am teaching her how to use a computer. I am teaching her how to cook. I was able to take her with me on 2 flights and she was no bother at all. So most of my life, raised by aunties this is like having a NEW MOM for the first time and I feel SO BLESSED that Allah (SWT) has given me the firasaa how to deal with her illness. Keep us in your duaas. Salaam alaykum."
So what are some practical steps you can take to improve your relationship with your mother?
1- Have Sabr
Sometimes she may be in a bad mood and you might feel she's taking it out on you but say alhamdulillah that she is still here and that you have the opportunity to gain reward for being patient with her. If she is elderly or ill, be patient with her as she was with you when you were a child. Remember all those tantrums, the nights you kept her awake when you were ill, the times she cleaned you and comforted you and have sabr.
2- Bite your tongue
Not literally. Learn to keep your mouth shut when you feel yourself becoming frustrated or angry with your mum, even though she wont always show it your words and actions hurt her more than you think and when you think back on those moments where you did lose your temper with her you'll be filled with guilt and regret.
3- Try to see things from her point of view
Our mums weren't brought up in the same society or generation that we were, which is why she might not understand you, try to see why she is upset with you or why she wants you to do or not do something. One day you will understand why she was the way she was with you.
4- Speak to her
Sometimes its cringe worthy and sometimes you feel she wont understand but put your pride aside and actually tell her about your life, as we grow up our mums feel like they're losing us, they want to protect us but they know we just want to go our own way. Show her that she is still important to you by telling her about your life and asking her for advice when you're in trouble. Try to be more open with her so she feels she can trust you more.
5- Spend quality time with her
Quality time is not just being in the same house as her, but actually speaking to her while watching TV or even helping her cook, try to take her out away from the house so you get time to talk to each other and let her find out more about you, the way you think and the way you are.
6- Make du'a for her
Whether your relationship with your mum is good or not keep her in your du'as because the mother-child relationship is one of the most pure and sincere, your dua will go a long way inshaAllah.
And a little bit of advice for the mothers out there...Don't feel embarrassed to tell your children you love them and are proud of them. Although you might not have had the same relationship with your parents growing up make sure you don't make the same mistakes with your children, speak to them, be open with them and build that trust between you and your children so they find it easy to come to you when they need you rather than go elsewhere.
Duas for parents:
Surah Ibrahim, 14:41رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُRab-ba-nagh-fir lii wa li-waa-li-day-ya walil-Mu’mi-niina Yawma yaquu-mul-Hisaab!41.Grant Thy forgiveness unto me, and my parents, and all the believers, on the Day on which the (last) reckoning will come to pass!”
Surah Al-israa, 17:24
"My Lord! Bestow on them Your mercy as they did bring me up when I was young."
Remember my mum in your duas too, May Allah bless and protect all of our parents and may He grant them jannat-ul-firdous!
I'll leave you with something I read online:
"My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.iHijabi
If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago” Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep.
When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?
When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that wayremember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day... the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.
If I occasionaly lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.
And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked.
When those days come, don’t feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared.
With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you... my darling daughter. "
Sunday, 25 November 2012
Review | Hijab Fashion Shop - Abaya
Assalaamu alaikum ladies here is the write up for the review I did on YouTube for Hijab Fashion Shop (See video above).
I usually wear size 54-56 depending on what the fabric is like, so Sister Victoria from Hijab fashion shop took my height and suggested size 54 due to the fabric. The abaya is made from a jersey fabric which tends to hang down, so a size smaller is better otherwise it'd be too long. Also because of the way the fabric is pleated and flows down from the chest, a size smaller wont be too fitted inshaAllah. However, I'm 5ft3 in height (last time I checked) and this size 54 abaya is still a little too long (even with heels) so iA I will be altering it to make it a bit shorter. The owner of hijab fashion shop did offer to exchange it for a size smaller when I told her it was too long, but I actually like the fit of this size including the length of the sleeves and everything.
The abaya is made in Dubai and as I said, is of really good quality, it has a collar neck and is fastened using snap buttons. This is actually a very good desing feature of this abaya because I realised that when I was praying and went down to sujood, although the scarf would slide forward (thus not covering my back) I was still completely covered because of the collar neck.
It is a very comfortable abaya, but I'd recommend you wear a long slip/dress/skirt/loose trousers or something underneath because the way it drapes can sometimes emphasise the waist/hips area. This abaya as with most (if not all) the abaya's on hijab fashion shop website comes with a lovely matching sheyla (scarf) and has one border with a strip of the same material the abaya is made in. The way it drapes & effortlessly flows gives you that elegant & modest Emirati/Gulf look.
I would totally recommend this abaya and this company to you all because I have bought from them before and they have not let me down alhamdulillah. If you don't really fancy plain black abaya's you can check out the other designs & colours on the website.
So here are some important links if you're interested in this abaya or the other designs =D
Hijab Fashion Shop FB: https://www.facebook.com/hijabfashionshop?ref=ts&fref=ts
Website: https://www.HijabFashionShop.com
Confessions | The worst start to the week
Monday morning you'd think I'd be more prepared but typical me...I wasn't. I woke up late and rushed out of bed, got ready and had 15 minutes to get to work...it takes me exactly 15 minutes to walk to work every day. So it's quarter to nine and I rush out of the house, my sister left 5 minutes before me to get to the bus stop for school.
As I speed walk down the road I see her still walking, it rained the night before so the ground and the leaves are still a bit wet, she was walking in a funny way and as I walked behind her I was laughing. I caught up with her and we both briskly walked in the same direction, I asked 'why you walking like that?' She replies 'Like what?' So I decide to show her how she's walking and my first step lands in something that looks like mud but could be the thing we all dread....dog poo!
I try to scrape it off as I walk not knowing whether its mud or what.
I finally get into work 5 minutes to get into my uniform and out to work, out of breath, sweating, still rushing...then I wondered what it was I stepped in on my way into work, pick up my shoe and nearly throw up....it was definitely dog poop! Feel like gagging as I write this now *shiver*
I know I had to clean the shoe and couldn't just leave it till later so I try to scrape it off with a wad of tissues, but its stuck in all the little grooves...damn it! Luckily there was no one else in the changing room so I had to take it to the sink and wash it. It was sOOOOoooo DISGUSTING I'm telling you, I must have spent 10 minutes washing it all off the bottom of my shoe...thank God no one walked in, then I had to put the (now clean but soggy) shoe on to get to my locker and put my clothes away.
I got to my locker took the things I need out of my bag and realised that there was a rotten pear in my bag (it was probably there for like 2 weeks)....not only that it had split and gone over all the contents in my bag, including my jeans and wallet and everything...10 past 9....already late....just great!
I text my cousin what happened and she told me to share the story on iHijabi and write.....'I stepped in dog poo....and the moral of the story? It was Allah teaching me to look down when I walk'....or not make fun of my sister xD
Hope you all had a better week than I did lol
iHijabi xx
Sunday, 11 November 2012
Spiritual | Dear iHijabi, People make fun of my hijab
Recently I received an e-mail from a sister struggling with peoples reaction to her hijab and I wanted to share the question & response with you all so that inshaAllah if anyone else is in a similar situation this will help.
Salaam. I'm 22 years old peruvian girl & engaged to a Muslim man. Here in my country girls don't wear hijaab, and when I started use it people made fun of me, and calling me names. I really luv wear hijaab :D but sometimes I can't help feel sad, and also my fiance is sad about this. Can u give me some advice plss? God bless u AmeenWalaykum assalaam sister A,
Sister A
Apologies for the late reply, I hope you are in the best of health & Imaan inshaAllah.
The advice I would give you in this situation is to find solace in Allah swt, ask for Allah to give you the strength to deal with these people, pray to Allah, read the Quran and read about the struggles the female companions of the Prophet pbuh and other women in Islamic history went through and how they overcame their struggles. InshaAllah you also need to believe in yourself and have confidence, don't show people that they are getting to you.
Remember that you are not wearing the hijab for people but you are wearing it to make Allah happy, and because it represents you as a Muslim, as a sister to billions of people across the world. People always make fun of things that they don't understand, your hijab will give people the opportunity to ask you questions and that will give you a chance to give dawah (speak about Islam).
As a woman in hijab you are an ambassador of Islam, you represent all of us so stay strong and stay true to who you are and what you believe in. InshaAllah people will see that you can do everything they can do, but you demand for people to respect you and listen to what you have to say rather than what you look like.
The messenger Muhammad (saw) said: ‘Islaam came as something strange; and it will return as something strange. Paradise is for those who are seen as strangers.’
The fact that people see your hijab as strange is nothing new, Islam has and always will be strange to people because we don't follow what is norm in the society we're living in, but we follow what Allah has ordained.
Imagine all the rewards you will be getting for struggling with these people and still sticking to what Allah commanded you to do. I hope the image of Jannah also gives you some strength to get through these situations.
"...Bear with patience whatever befalls you...." (Qur'an 31:17) and "Be not sad, surely Allah is with us." (Qur'an 9:40)
Our Prophet (pbuh) said: "Verily, if Allah loves a people, He makes them go through trials. Whoever is satisfied, for him is contentment, and whoever is angry upon him is wrath." [Tirmidhi]
Being sad is not encouraged in Islam
"So do not become weak, nor be sad..." (Qur'an 3:139)
"And grieve not over them, and be not distressed because of what they plot." (Qur'an 16:127)
Sadness prevents one from action instead of compelling one towards it. The heart does not benefit through grief. The most beloved thing to the devil is to hinder the worshipper in the path of Allah. The Muslim must repel sadness and fight in any way that is permissible in Islam.
Verily, with hardship, there is relief
"Verily, with hardship there is relief" (Qur'an 94:6)
"Perhaps Allah may bring victory or a decision according to His Will." (Qur'an 5:52)
Prophet Ibrahim ('alayhissalam) did not feel its heat because of the help he received from Allah. "We (Allah) said : O' fire! Be you coolness and safety for Ibrahim." (Qur'an 21:69)
The sea would not drown Prophet Moses ('alayhissalaam) because he uttered in confident, strong and truthful manner: "Nay verily! With me is my Lord, He will guide me." (Qur'an 26:62)
And the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said to 'Abdullah bin 'Abbas (radiyallahu 'anhu): "..Be mindful of Allah, you will find Him before you. Get to know Allah in prosperity and He will know you in adversity... And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship." [Tirmidhi]
Accept life as it is
If you read the Qur'an you will see that all the Prophets went through trials and tribulations. Life is a test so let us learn from the best examples of our Prophets. "Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty, ailments and were shaken." (Qur'an 2:214)
We should know that if we are pleased with our Lord, He will be pleased with us. And if you are pleased with your Lord no matter what the situation is, then you will find that you have earned your Lord's pleasure. On the other hand, there are hypocrites whom Allah rejects their deeds. They are displeased with what Allah sends down and they hate seeking His pleasure; thus their deeds are performed in vain.
Your fiance should not be sad, he should be very proud of you and happy that you are saving your beauty for him, it should make him love you more because he can see the struggle you are going through in order to make sure that he is the only man that can appreciate your beauty in its entirety. So sister please don't feel sad because at the end of the day it's hard, this is your 'jihad' (struggle) but Allah will be happy with you for your perseverance and InshaAllah you will be rewarded immensely.
I hope this helped.
Take care inshaAllah.
Wassalaam,
iHijabi xxx
Sunday, 7 October 2012
Review | Islamic Jewels
Assalaamu alaikum!
Hope you're all in the best of health and imaan, today I'm writing a review on some stunning hijab accessories by Islamic jewels.
Before I start I'd like to ask you to read the disclaimer and then start reading this post. (in other words: no haram police comments without getting your facts straght first, thank you very much)
So lets begin...
Islamic Jewels is a company based in Trinidad & Tobago who also ship worldwide (yaay for online shoppaholics!). I'll be honest I'm always a bit skeptical when doing online shopping with companies that are not based in the UK or USA, I'm not sure why but I'm always a bit more careful when parting with my money, so reading reviews by people who have bought from them or have dealt with them always help. InshaAllah this review will help reassure you if you're thinking about purchasing from them.
Islamic Jewels contacted me and told me a bit about their company, from their very first e-mail I knew they were a company that was trustworthy because I was spoken to in a sincere, polite & friendly manner (what more could you want?). I had a look through their website and facebook page and really liked the look of their products. The pictures of sisters wearing the different pieces they had bought from Islamic Jewels really helped get my head around how it would look when worn. After looking them up I agreed to a review so that I could tell all of you lovely ladies about this amazing little company (you know, sharing is caring and all).
All the pieces are designed and handmade by Islamic Jewels, and trust me when I tell you, they are really good quality (what do you expect when they use the finest quality swarovski crystal hey?). All the stones, metal, chain & pins are of very high quality which you can tell by just looking at them and picking them up. They are all very sturdy and unlike some other pins these ones don't bend when they are put under a little bit of force, which is good.
The shipping to the UK usually takes about 10 days but in rare occasions can take up to 25 days, mine arrived within the 10 day period (apologies, I can't remember exactly what day they arrived). I was sent 3 items from their collections
1)Gold plated Charm Scarf Chain- http://www.facebook.com/photo.
This Charm Scarf Chain is made using Indicolite AB Swarovski Crystals and flower charms.
2)Gold plated Glitz Dangle Pin- http://www.facebook.com/photo.
A stunning Gold plated piece adorned with a Swarovski Rhinestone in the centre & delicate Rhinestone Crystal Chain
3)Silver plated Glitz Chain Pin- http://www.facebook.com/photo.
Silver plated Chain adorned with Light Rose Swarovski Crystal drops.
Below are different ways you can wear the pins...I can think of so many creative ways to wear these accessories, can't wait to wear them for Eid (=
The Islamic Jewels website is easy to navigate and making an order is very simple and safe. The packaging everything came in was sleek, sophisticated and very professional looking, this would make the perfect gift.
If you like what you see and would like to check out some more stunning hijab accessories by Hijab Jewels head on over to their website: www.islamicjewels.com or their facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/
Happy shopping =D
iHijabi x
Saturday, 29 September 2012
Bad hijab day
Recently I've been having bad hijab days, like for a month or so, I don't know why I just can't get the scarf to look how I want it to. I have to wear a plain hijab to work so I end up wearing a shayla that came with an abaya I bought because it doesn't look puffy. Another problem is I have to tuck it into my uniform when I'm at work so I cant do all the folds and stuff, same problem when its under the collar of my coat/jacket.
Sometimes I'm running late for work just because I spent longer than anticipated trying to get the scarf right, I look at myself in the mirror before I leave the house and it still doesn't look right so I just say 'argh it'll have to do' and leave, everytime I catch my reflection I keep pulling it and re-pinning it throughout the day...*sigh* it's exhausting!
I went to the shop today and again felt like my scarf just didn't look right, the way I wrap it just makes my face shape look odd, my cheeks look like they're being pushed forward, the way I tie my hair makes the shape of the scarf look odd at the back etc etc, maybe I'm doing it too tight? Or maybe I need to stop over analysing it?
I know you're thinking 'you write a blog about hijab and different ways to wear it, so how can you be having problems with it?' but truth is I tend to just do the ordinary 'long side short side wrap around once' style because it's easiest. And yes hijabi bloggers have bad hijab days too.
Do you have bad hijab days? How do you get over them?
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