I've been meaning to write about the Prophet pbuh (yeah I write about him all the time with regards to hadeeths) but I mean Muhammad as a man, a father, a friend, a husband, a leader. But the thing is whenever I sit down to write about him I don't know where to start. Today I was reading a question & answer about him on the 'Dear little auntie' blog an amazing blog that acts as an agony aunt. Please do follow their blog, you'll find advice to many different issues.
If you've ever wondered why Muslim's love this man whome they have never even met and have only read about? why they get so offended when people say or do anything that is insulting towards him? Why millions will be more than willing to put their life on the line for him? All you have to do is read the response to this quite insulting and ignorant question.
hey i muslim girlAnswer:
i just wanted to share this one thing
when i told my mom she told my dad
and now i have a black eye and a broken arm
umm i am a muslim girl
but i Don't like Mohammad // im sorry i just domt like his teching
i dnt like how he married a 9 year old and how he beat his wife/wives.. i don't like hoe sexist he was.. i hate how he made islam about him and not Allah
I am really sowi but thats just how i feel.. i am so sorry
but umm can I be a muslim and not relate to muhammad but love Allah ?
i sowi but even after being hurt i dnt "like" him
Before I answer your concerns, let me ask you a question :) Or actually many questions :D
What if I told you about a man who even though he was super busy and even though he came from an extremely macho society (we’re talking about a society where people thought women were things that you owned or buried alive) would actually help his wife in the house and even stitch/mend his own clothes? What if I told you that this man would watch his wife drink so that he could place his lips on the exact same place when it was his turn? Not only that but this man would listen to his wife- truly listen when she would talk, would joke with her, even race her. He never hit his wife and he openly declared his love for her in front of everyone?
But this man wasn’t just a wonderful husband. What if I told you that he was a loving father and grandfather…he used to always stand up and kiss his daughter when she’d enter the room? He would carry his granddaughter and even hold her while he was praying. And he’d love to let his grandchildren sit on his back while he’d carry them. He used to ‘play’ with the other kids, too, playfully splashing them with water.
This man’s compassion wasn’t limited to his family and children, though. He cared about everyone. Like the fact that he never once asked his servant for ten years why he had done something or why he hadn’t done something. Ten years. 3,600 days or so…
And you know the saying to give someone the shirt off your back? This man was like that. Even though he didn’t have that much clothes at all, he was extremely generous. He was always giving away his things in charity. In fact, one day, he came out dressed in a new ‘shawl’. A friend of his saw him wearing it and actually told him to give it to him. So this man went back to his house, took it off, and gave it to him. Just like that.
What if I told you that this man was also the “leader”/ “president” of the country and, yet, he never acted like some ‘mighty king’? You know how today they whenever a King/royalty/ president comes into a room, people stand up for them? Well, he never liked that. He didn’t want people to stand up for him or treat him differently. Instead, he would sit with servants and the poor. He would help the orphans and widows. He knew the ‘poor people’ of his followers…actually knew them and cared about each one!
When his people were digging a trench for a battle that was taking place, this man didn’t just stand there, watching them do all the work. He got down and dug and dug- until his chest was covered with dirt.
How many presidents are like that today? Can you name me a single one that would do that? Work alongside his people in the dirt….?
What if I told you that this man used to keep all the valuables of his people? They trusted him- just like how we put things in a bank, they put their stuff in his house. Yet, the people got angry with him just because he told them to worship God. So they decided to kill him. This man had to leave his city in the middle of the night, and yet, even though he knew that his people were plotting to kill him, he made sure that there were arrangements in place for the people to get back their valuables and things. He didn’t think “Haha, I got all their stuff. I’m outta here. They deserve it since they want to kill me!” He didn’t think that, at all.
Yes, this man cared about everyone, animals included. Once, on a journey, somebody picked up some bird's two little chickies. The mother bird was 'devastated' and she kept circling the air, beating its wings in grief. This man noticed the mother bird's grief and wanted to know who had separated the bird from its offspring? Yes, this man cared about the feelings of a bird :)
Children, animals, poor, orphans, needy....
I’m not talking about some superstar. Or some hero from a movie. I’m talking about Prophet Mohammed.
I know that you said that when you asked your parents about him, they ‘hit you’. You know what?
Prophet Mohammed was way more patient than your parents and much more understanding. Imagine asking your dad permission to go have sex with someone. What would your mother do? What about your father?
Well, you know what the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam did? While everyone else was ‘rebuking’ the young man who asked for permission to do zina, the Prophet sallah allahoo alyhaee wa salam calmly sat him down and talked to him about it- he asked him some questions so that the young man concluded that sex out of marriage was not appropriate. But not only did the Prophet talk to him ever so calmly and gently, the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam put his hand on his chest and made sincere dua for him. How many teachers or Imams do that today? Would our own parents do that? Make dua for us? Or would they slap us silly if we were to ask them such a question?
What if your parents saw you checking out a handsome man or saw your brother checking out a beautiful woman in Mecca- of all places- during Hajj (of all times)? The prophet didn’t scream at him “It’s HaJJ. LOWER your gaze”. He didn’t ‘freak out’. He just gently turned the Companion’s face away.
And the thing is, what you said about Prophet Mohammed being sexist? And beating his wives? That's completely not true. I have to ask where have you been doing your research? And he NEVER made Islam all about himself? That's completely NOT true.
He said, "Don't commend me as Christians commend Jesus the son of Marry. But say about me, the servant and the messenger of Allah." (Muslim)You have to realize something. It was Allah subhanoo Wa' Tala who chose prophet Mohammed to be a prophet. Don't you think Allah is the Wisest and Knows who should be a prophet? If you truly love Allah, then you should accept His decision that Prophet Mohammed be the last Prophet.
The companions of Prophet Muhammad used to stay sitting when he come because they know how he feels bad when they stand for him. (Tirmidhi)
Once a newcomer to his gathering was filled with awe and anxiety. When he detected this, the Prophet said to the person, 'Please relax and be at ease! I am not a great monarch. I am only a son of a lady who ate cured meat.' (Ibn Majah)
In fact, we love the Prophet because Allah subhanoo Wa’ Tala told us to!
"The Prophet is preferable for the believers even to their own selves..." (33:6)
Say: If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your kindred, the wealth that you have gained, the commerce in which you fear a decline, and the dwelling in which you delight are dearer to you than Allah and His Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) and striving hard and fighting in His cause, then wait until Allah brings about His Decision (torment). [(9): 24]
This was Allah’s Command.
"You have indeed a good example in the Messenger of Allah (SAAW) for whosoever hopes for Allah and the Last Day, and remembers Allah much." [Al-Ahzab: 21].If you really want to do research on the Prophet, sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam, the best place to start is the Qur'an or Allah's words. Because at the end of the day- who are you going to believe? People or Allah?
"It is not for any believer, man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger) have decreed a matter, to have the choice in their affair. And whosoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger (SAAW) he has gone astray into manifest error." [Al-Ahzab: 36].
Allah says that the Prophet had the best manners:
And indeed, you are of a great moral character. (4)
I also really need you to check this earlier post we wrote out 'loving and obeying the Prophet":
And..... have you read our article on women? Because, the prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam was actually described by a few historians as being one of the first 'feminists' (in the sense that he promoted equality between the sexes). The prophet was a champion of women's rights.....
And it wasn't like it was 'just talk'...the Prophet Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam practiced what he preached:
Aisha said, "Prophet Muhammad used to stitch his clothes, milk the goats and help in the chores inside the house.' (Bukhari and Muslim)He didn't say "That's women's work. That's beneath me". He helped in the house, sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam. He also asked his wives, like Umm Salama, their opinion on important matters. He didn't think that women's opinions were 'less valid' then 'men's'...
He was also very much against 'women beating' and as we said before, he never ever hit his wives. When his wife Aisha Radiya Allah Anha was 'accused' of infidelity (zina), he didn't slap her or beat her or anything of that sort. You know what he did? He simply told her:
“Thereafter, O ‘Aisha! I have been informed such and such a thing about you; and if you are innocent, Allah will reveal your innocence, and if you have committed a sin, then ask for Allah’s forgiveness and repent to Him, for when a worshiper of Allah confesses his sin and then repents to Allah, Allah accepts his repentance”.
Can you imagine? The Prophet Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam told Aisha Radiya Allah Anha that even if she had betrayed him ( Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) and had done such an act, all she had to do was sincerely repent to Allah and ask for forgiveness. Again, 'no beating'....
OKay....you've read all that, but you still don't 'connect' to the Prophet?
Let's work on that, okay :)
You know how earlier I told you that Prophet Mohammed cared about the poor people of his followers? Well, let me share with you a story:
- A black woman - or a young black man- used to sweep al-Masjid al-Nabawi. When the Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa saalm) did not see her (him) for a while, he asked about her (or him). “She (he) died,” they told him. “Why did not you inform me?” said the Prophet. The companions did not attach importance to her (him). “Show me her (his) grave,” continued the Prophet. They showed him the grave. He prayed for him/her.
You might think 'Yeah, so what? I"m not impressed". Well the thing is, it’s easy for us to read these things- but when we apply to them to what happens today, we realize how special the Prophet was. Imagine the president of the country praying for a 'simple' janitor or ‘maid’? Actually noticing that person wasn’t there anymore? From all the people he talked to and knew?
I'm sure you've also heard of how merciful the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam was...Like how he forgave the Qurayshis even after all the years they mocked, tortured him and plotted against him.
But let me give you another specific story:
Have you heard of the man Abdullah bin Ubai? He was one of the leaders of the hypocrites in Madinah. He did everything he could to undermine the prophet's authority. Like when the Muslims were going to the battle of Uhud, just before they reached Uhud, he convinced 300 out of the 1,000 Muslims (almost a third of the army!) to go back!
Later on, he was quoted as saying an Arabic saying which is like: Feed your dog, one day it shall eat you. You know, you continue to feed your dog, make it grow large, huge, strong, and ferocious and one day your dog will pounce on you and devour you. He was referring to the Muslims of Makkah being like dogs-istagfirAllah.
So why do I bring him up? Because of what happened after he died.
Narrated Hadrat Ibn 'Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him): When 'Abdullah bin 'Ubai died, his son 'Abdullah came to Allah's Messenger (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) and asked him to give him his shirt in order to shroud his father in it. He gave it to him and then 'Abdullah asked the Prophet (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) to offer the funeral prayer for him (his father). Allah's Messenger (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) got up to offer the funeral prayer for him. Sayyidina 'Umar got up too and got hold of the garment of Allah's Messenger (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) and said, "O Allah's Messenger! Will you offer the funeral prayer for him though your Lord has forbidden you to offer the prayer for him ?" Allah's Messenger (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said, "But Allah has given me the choice by saying:-
'Whether you ask forgiveness for them, or do not ask forgiveness for them; even if you ask forgiveness for them seventy times never will Allah forgive them. That is because they disbelieved in Allah and His Messenger, and Allah does not guide the defiantly disobedient people..' (9:80)
So I will ask more than seventy times."
Sayyidina 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said, "But he (Abdullah bin 'Ubai) is a hypocrite!" However, Allah's Messenger (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) did offer the funeral prayer for him! (Later, though Allah revealed that we should not pray for the hypocrites).
But what am I getting at here? Prophet Mohammed never repaid 'meanness' with meanness. I mean, look how angry we get when someone 'backbites' us and pretends to be our friend. What do we do, right? This guy was a million times worse than someone backbiting us- he was a leader of the hypocrites who tried every chance they could to destroy Islam, yet the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam, out of his mercy, prayed for him.
How else was the prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam so extraordinary?
Let me give you another scenario. Imagine you're sitting down at a dinner table with the King of a country. He's sitting next to a little boy (on his right) and next to him on his left are 'elderly men'. Do you think the King would even bother with the little boy? That he would ask permission from him to let the 'elderly men' drink first? Well, the prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam did that:
"Do you mind if I give the drink to them?’ The young boy said: ‘O Prophet of God! By God! I would not prefer anyone to drink from the place you drank. This is my fair share.’ The Messenger of God (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) handed the boy the drink." (Bukhari #2319)
What about the fact that the Prophet was so easy-going?
There was a companion named Abdullah who really loved the Prophet and loved to present him with gifts like 'butter and honey'. The funny thing is that when the seller demanded payment, Abdullah would bring the seller to the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhae wa salam and say: “Give this man its price."
The Prophet, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, would then say: “Didn’t you give it to me as a gift?”Abdullah would say: “Yes, O Messenger of God; however I cannot afford to pay.” The two of them would laugh together and then the Prophet would have the merchant paid.
And you know what? Abdullah actually had a bit of a drinking problem. One day, when Abdullah was leaving from having the punishment of drinking done to him, one of the Companion’s declared about Abdullah: “O God curse him! How often he is summoned for this!”
The Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salm rebuked that Companion, saying: “Do not curse him, for I swear by God, if you only knew just how very much indeed he loves God and His Messenger.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari).
What else? Well, I think it's important that you hear him talk...Just listen to some of his sayings, Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam
- “The best perfect believers are the best in conduct and the best of you are those who are best to their wives” (Ahmed)
- “He who strives to serve a widow and a poor person is like the one who strives in Allah's way."
- "God has sent me to perfect good manners and to do good deeds." (Bukhari & Ahmed)
- “Allah is gentle and loves gentleness. He gives for gentleness what He does not give for harshness, nor for anything else.” [Muslim] In another hadith, he says, “He who is deprived of gentleness is deprived of good.” [Muslim]
- “If a man loves his brother in faith, he should tell him that he loves him.”[Abu Dawud]
- "I start the prayer with the intention of lengthening it, but when I hear a child crying, I shorten the prayer, as I know its mother would suffer from his screams!" (Bukhari #677)
In all honesty, there is soooooooooooo much more that we can write about the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam, but there just isn't any time and I didn't want to delay replying to this anymore...
My question for you though is how can you love him when you don't really know him?
And sister, I leave you with some final thoughts. You've written several comments on this blog and you've mentioned that you 'don't like to follow all the rules"....Well sis, I have to ask you this question and I mean it in the nicest way possible: then who is turning Islam into their own religion? Prophet Mohammed sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam didn't turn Islam into a religion about him. He was chosen by Allah to be an example for us-- when we choose to ignore the example and follow our own 'desires'/opinions on religion, then we're saying that Allah made a 'mistake' and din't know who to pick as a prophet...istagfirAllah. We're also telling Allah that we don't want to worship Allah the way He wants. We're saying that we want to worship Him the way we want...and it doesn't really make sense for the 'created' to decide how to worship the Creator, does it?
I pray that you do not take this message harshly and realize that I honestly do care about you. I know you think I'm against 'happiness" and 'everything nice/ and good' but I'm really not. I think it's such a shame if you were to lose out on knowing the real Prophet Mohammed...
Please do keep in touch with us.
p.s. we've already also addressed his marriage to Aisha radiya Allah Anha.
I love Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), do you?